LIVE
Roast Station
SUBSCRIBE
JUST IN — NeNe's Kid Flunks Probation With Drug Arrest SequelJUST IN — Nothing Cites RAMageddon to Delay Next CMF PhoneJUST IN — Hathaway Timed Fertility Struggles for the Third Pregnancy DropJUST IN — Hue Audits Your Dumb Lights With Wired Wall ModulesJUST IN — Lawmakers Float Downsizing Post-Attack Intelligence RoleJUST IN — Absurdity Audit: Post-Facelift Staycations Hit Luxury PeakJUST IN — Power Rankings Audit Flags One-Game World Cup FavoritesJUST IN — Hormuz Audit: Stranded Vessels Face Fresh Escape UncertaintyJUST IN — NeNe's Kid Flunks Probation With Drug Arrest SequelJUST IN — Nothing Cites RAMageddon to Delay Next CMF PhoneJUST IN — Hathaway Timed Fertility Struggles for the Third Pregnancy DropJUST IN — Hue Audits Your Dumb Lights With Wired Wall ModulesJUST IN — Lawmakers Float Downsizing Post-Attack Intelligence RoleJUST IN — Absurdity Audit: Post-Facelift Staycations Hit Luxury PeakJUST IN — Power Rankings Audit Flags One-Game World Cup FavoritesJUST IN — Hormuz Audit: Stranded Vessels Face Fresh Escape Uncertainty
Hathaway Turns Bump Reveal Into Lyric-Themed PR Theater
LEAD STORY
SPICY 83UNHINGED1d ago

Hathaway Turns Bump Reveal Into Lyric-Themed PR Theater

Captioned with floating x's and 'Baby, I’m yours' because a normal pregnancy announcement apparently needs branding now.

Fresh Burns

NeNe's Kid Flunks Probation With Drug Arrest Sequel
CelebritiesSPICY 73

NeNe's Kid Flunks Probation With Drug Arrest Sequel

1d ago

Hathaway Timed Fertility Struggles for the Third Pregnancy Drop
CelebritiesSPICY 72

Hathaway Timed Fertility Struggles for the Third Pregnancy Drop

1d ago

Culpo's Chocolate Luggage Is a Travel Essential Now
CelebritiesMEDIUM 58

Culpo's Chocolate Luggage Is a Travel Essential Now

2d ago

Knicks Owner Frames Sex Ban as Team Optimization
CelebritiesMEDIUM 62

Knicks Owner Frames Sex Ban as Team Optimization

3d ago

Editor’s Pick

Absurdity Audit: Post-Facelift Staycations Hit Luxury Peak
CelebritiesMEDIUM 58

Absurdity Audit: Post-Facelift Staycations Hit Luxury Peak

High-end hotels roll out dedicated facilities so clients can heal in secrecy while pretending nothing happened.

Ego Meter Spikes: Kardashian-Hamilton Monaco Makeout
Celebrities· Jun 9

Ego Meter Spikes: Kardashian-Hamilton Monaco Makeout

Ego Meter: Finch's Middleton College Tale Hits Peak Delusion
Celebrities· Jun 7

Ego Meter: Finch's Middleton College Tale Hits Peak Delusion

Receipts

OnlyFans Divorce Audit: Cryptic Message Scores Zero
CelebritiesMEDIUM 58

OnlyFans Divorce Audit: Cryptic Message Scores Zero

Jun 4

Trump Jr Posts 'Intimate' Wedding Video No One Asked For
CelebritiesSPICY 72

Trump Jr Posts 'Intimate' Wedding Video No One Asked For

May 30

Barbra Skips Cannes, Fires Video Message at Her Own Palme
CelebritiesSPICY 72

Barbra Skips Cannes, Fires Video Message at Her Own Palme

May 23

Ego Meter Spikes as Stars Worship a Damn Baguette
CelebritiesSPICY 74

Ego Meter Spikes as Stars Worship a Damn Baguette

May 20

Most Devastating

CNN Trending: Doomsday Karaoke Night?
CelebritiesSPICY 78

CNN Trending: Doomsday Karaoke Night?

Oil crashes parties, El Niño floods basements, taxes haunt dreams—CNN's hits list has it all, minus the chill pill.

Quick Hits

  1. 01CelebritiesSPICY 74

    Sahiba Bali's Zombie Scandals Rise Again

  2. 02CelebritiesSPICY 72

    PK's One-Year Rebound: RHOBH Ex Trades Wives Like Cards

  3. 03CelebritiesMEDIUM 58

    Paris Hilton's Mini-Me Easter: Twinning Toddlers & Oprah Bags

  4. 04CelebritiesSPICY 72

    HELLO! Magazine's Creepy Celeb Death Ticker

  5. 05CelebritiesSPICY 78

    HELLO! Mag: Celeb Drama on Infinite Loop

  6. 06CelebritiesMEDIUM 68

    HELLO! Mag: Celeb Lives, Now With 100% More Drama Filters

Drop 01 incoming · Merch

The Roast Shop

Wearable receipts from the AI hustle era. Limited print runs, sharp lines, zero apologies. Live at shop.roaststation.com.

--dangerously-skip-permissions
PREVIEW

--dangerously-skip-permissions

Black tee · Bella+Canvas

$24.99
Prompt Engineer. Still Broke.
PREVIEW

Prompt Engineer. Still Broke.

Heavyweight tee · 100% cotton

$24.99
--yolo mode enabled
PREVIEW

--yolo mode enabled

Hoodie · Premium fleece

$44.99

SHOP THE DROP

Newsletter · Weekly

Join the list.
You asked for this.

The best roasts of the week, hand-picked by an algorithm that has been called “mostly safe to look at directly.” Free. No spam. Easy unsubscribe.

 

We'll send roasts. We won't sell you SaaS.

More Celebrities

All roasts →
New Bachelorette Already Under Investigation
CelebritiesSPICY 72· Mar 19

New Bachelorette Already Under Investigation

Taylor Frankie Paul goes from fantasy suite to real-world scrutiny in record time

Sara Bareilles Saves the World With a Pin
CelebritiesSPICY 85· Mar 18

Sara Bareilles Saves the World With a Pin

Hollywood's bravest revolutionaries cosplay 1968 while wearing $18,000 gowns