Roast Station
Tech Roasts
The latest tech roasts from Roast Station.
TMZ's 'Disturbing' Scoop: Celeb Dog Zepa Kicks the Kennel
Apologies to fans for the heartbreak—because a pet passing trumps actual scandals every time.
TMZ Drops Serial Killer Mic: Heuermann's Mega Guilty Plea
Seven murders confessed, eighth TBD—entertainment news hits peak absurdity.
Iran Rescue: Action Flick or Actual Fiasco?
Dozens of planes, sneaky tricks, and a war deadline—because real life needed more Michael Bay.
Today Star's Mom Ghosts, She Goes Viral on Faith
Missing mom? Time for a heartfelt video essay. Priorities, people.
Savannah's Return: Fans Siege NBC Like It's Woodstock
TMZ hypes morning anchor comeback as if she slayed a dragon, not just read the weather.
TMZ's Birthday Bash: Bikini Autopsy Edition
Nothing screams 'happy birthday' like exhuming workout pics for the masses.
Celebs Cram Four Holidays into One Outfit
Khloe, Blake & Gwen turn Easter, Passover, Eid and Nowruz into Instagram's ultimate mashup fail
Sora: OpenAI's AI Video Fling Ends in Ghost Town
Viral hit that spooked Hollywood shutters after months of tumbleweeds—AI hype meets reality check.
Humans Let AI Do Their Thinking, Regret Nothing
Research reveals we're outsourcing brains to bots that confidently spew nonsense—because who needs logic anymore?
Earth Pics from Space: NASA's Greatest Hits, Vol. 47
Artemis II crew snaps 'spectacular' view we've memorized since flip phones were cool.
OpenAI Parks COO in 'Special Projects' Siberia
Brad Lightcap gets vague new gig amid exec exodus—because nothing screams 'stable genius' like reorg roulette at the AI apocalypse factory.
USA TODAY's Dino-Leather to Death-Giggle Carousel
T-Rex handbags, funeral hysterics, and colon cancer—news feeds gone gloriously off the rails.
Divorce-to-Dream-Home in 14 Days Flat
Jessi Draper's 'new beginnings' speedrun makes Usain Bolt look like he's jogging in molasses.
Britney's Insta Family Pic: Wholesome or PR Plot Twist?
Pop icon dusts off 2008 throwback with sons—because nothing says 'reunion' like filtered nostalgia.
Google News Serves War with Weather
Algorithms think 'Iran conflict nearing end' pairs perfectly with your 5-day forecast—um, what?
GOP's 'Path' to End Shutdown: More Hurdles Than a Bad Gym Class
Leaders unveil roadmap that's basically a treadmill to nowhere—hold on, is this Congress or Cirque du Soleil?
Artemis II: Moon Flyby, 52 Years Late
NASA flings four astronauts lunar-ward for first time since sideburns ruled. Progress or procrastination?
Skull-Vibes on Sale: Tech's Lamest 'Trending' News
Bone conduction headphones hit 'lowest price in months'—because that's what keeps the world spinning, apparently.
Techmeme Serves IRGC Rants & Big Tech Cyber Doomscroll
Iranian threats crash the party with DHS drama – because nothing says 'tech news' like global beef and unpaid cyber bills.
Gen Z Lines Up for Payphones, Hates Calls Anyway
USA Today's tech roundup: Nostalgia queues, dead desktops, and endless headphone deals in retail's price apocalypse.
Hubby's Secret Online Alter Ego Sparks Security Circus
Double life exposed: from private hobby to front-page fiasco, with national security in the crosshairs
USA Today: KitKat Heists to Moon Menaces
Stolen candy trackers, kidnapped hacks, gas gouge, lunar leaps—news or fever dream?
CNN's 'Breaking News': The Infinite Scroll of Meh
Trending story? It's just the homepage. Hold on, that's the whole plot?
Newsweek: In-Depth Analysis or Infinite Scroll?
Promising breaking news alerts like it's 1999, but delivering the same outrage bait everyone's already doomscrolling.