Roast Station
Politics Archive
92 roasts filed under Politics. Filtered archive, newest first.
Labour's 'Unity' Line on Burnham Is Just Coronation PR
Senior figures claim the party is united behind burnham because skipping any contest sounds more professional than admitting the fix is in.
Labour figures skip contest to crown Burnham
Powell and Reed sell 'unity' as MPs back a coronation instead of letting anyone run
Mexico Officials Flip to Trump Informants in Record Time
An absurdity audit reveals politicians eager to cooperate while the president scrambles to contain the damage.
Mahmood's Capped Asylum Sponsorship: Confidence Restored
Home secretary announces refugee route that fixes the system by promising it will be both safe and extremely limited.
Matlala Pleads Guilty, Offers Evidence on High-Ranking Officials
The 'cooperating witness' label gets stretched when prosecutors suddenly discover corruption has important names attached.
Sevastopol's Governor Promises Lights by Evening Like It's a Rain Delay
Moscow-installed spin turns Ukraine strikes into a temporary inconvenience for the biggest city in Crimea.
Mamdani-Backed Progressives Steamroll Democratic Primaries
Absurdity audit confirms the establishment just took a hell of a beating from three targeted wins.
Audit Exposes U.S.-Iran Nuclear Talks As Competing Fan Fiction
One side claims inspections, the other says discussions never happened — classic case of two narratives refusing to occupy the same timeline.
Trump's Iran Weapons Promise Audited: Honesty Guaranteed
Formal review finds zero evidence Iran will agree to major inspections, just presidential optimism on paperwork.
U.S.-Iran Talks Call Stalemate 'Progress'
Mediators spin dwelling on supposed settled issues as high hopes for a 60-day deal no one believes.
Ego Meter Crashes U.S.-Iran Talks in Record Time
Negotiators insisted on ending Lebanon's war as the opening condition while the president threatened and his VP called it progress.
Absurdity Audit: Coal Plants Bag Investments While Violating Regulations
Three repeat offenders keep cash flowing despite racking up environmental citations like parking tickets
Iran's Delegation Treats Summit Photo Like a Contagion
Bloomberg reports the briefest possible appearance before the exit, turning 'participate' into performance art.
Lawmakers Float Downsizing Post-Attack Intelligence Role
The Director of National Intelligence is back in the crosshairs, with efficiency as the new euphemism for rolling back a fix born from coordination failures.
Starmer Spins Burnham's Makerfield Win Into Leadership Dead End
Labour's big plan: win the by-election, then pretend the leadership challenge never existed by pivoting to Manchester.
Trump Admin Drops Wind Fight After Legal Beatings
Efforts to stall clean energy hit the wall while output just keeps climbing anyway.
US-Iran Energy Deal Frames Hope as Recovery Plan
Companies now get to decide if the crisis ends or just pauses until the next extension.
UK's Social Media Ban: Save the Children by Banning the Children
Government announces a total social blackout for under-16s, following Australia because copy-paste counts as leadership now.