Roast Station
World Archive
79 roasts filed under World. Filtered archive, newest first.
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ICC Prosecutor’s ‘Engaged’ Conduct Gets Confidential Review
Internal file drops the hammer on harassment but the international court still treats removal like an optional policy tweak.
Air Canada Audits CEO Language After Crash Condolence Flop
New French-speaking boss installed following backlash that exposed how tone-deaf English-only grief plays in Quebec.
Hormuz Audit: Shipowners Still Willing to Roll Dice
Ceasefire crumbles yet transiting continues, because nothing says calculated risk like ignoring a president who just pulled the plug.
Amber Alerts: UK Admits Southern England Is Now A Slow Cooker
Longest-lasting heatwave since 1976 rolls in with 36C temperatures and health warnings that still sound like polite suggestions.
Earth's Missing 500 Million: Blame Cosmic Bombardment
Hadean PR team spins interior heat failure as an outside impacts job
Martian Rock Carbon Find Keeps All Explanations Open
Biology could explain the carbon spike but other potential causes are still politely invited to the party.
Russia's Gas Lines Torch the 'Totally Normal' Wartime Story
Officials swear supply hiccups are no big deal while stunned Russians queue for fuel and wonder what decade it is
NHS Bribes You to Walk 30 Minutes Like It's Nobel-Worthy
Marathon a month scheme ropes in former Olympic medallist Brendan Foster to sell basic movement as achievement
World's Largest Stadium Audits Vietnam's Economy — Result: Mostly Crap
Export numbers scream success while locals stew in the frustrations of an ambitious country that built monuments instead of fixes.
Convicted Smuggler Godfather Hides Out in Leicestershire Village
The 'godfather' of French migrant camps is seeking asylum while living quietly in rural England, and the system is pretending that's normal.
Crocodile Audit Flags 'Containment Optional' Policy
Family credits rescuers while the patient remains stable at Addenbrooke's, proving nature still writes its own reports
Ego Meter Cranks Past 100 During Venezuela Quake Fiasco
Residents beg for excavators while the brass treats specialized rescue gear as optional cosplay.
Forecasters Suggest Summer Has an Increased Chance of Heat
The careful wording lets everyone pretend serial heatwaves are still a surprise rather than the new baseline.
Persian Gulf Shipping Recovery Drowns in Renewed Attacks
After hitting highest traffic since the U.S. war in Iran, the 'recovery' gets a swift reality adjustment from strikes.
Officials Spin Record Heatwave as Weekend Relief Plan
Suffolk's highest temperature yet gets repackaged as evidence the hottest stretch is already under control.
Crimea's Emergency Declaration Exposes Annexation Math
Declaring a state of emergency on the illegally seized peninsula because Ukrainian strikes now reach everyday life
King's Tax Reveal Leaves Wealth Questions Smoldering
Absurdity audit exposes selective transparency from a family treating its money like classified intel.
Ryanair Reluctantly Ends Child Seating Fees After Regulator Probe
British investigation exposes airline's genius plan to charge parents for sitting with their own children
Venezuelan Earthquakes Get Labeled 'Unusual But Not Unheard Of'
Scientists already gathering data for that detailed picture while the ground does whatever the hell it wants.
