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Latest satire drops, fully indexable with canonical article links.
Reuters Business: Where Excitement Goes to Die
Global headlines so thrilling, you'll check your watch mid-sentence. Pull up a chair for stock tickers and mergers.
Coup Captain Ditches Democracy: 'Forget It!'
Burkina Faso's tank-toppled leader explains why elections are for suckers in his expert opinion.
Reuters Biz: Global Thrills or Snooze Fest?
Promising world-shaking headlines, delivering elevator music for your inbox.
Reuters Business: Headlines So Bland They Need IV Fluids
Global scoops from every corner... of the conference room. Pull up a chair for mergers, earnings, and existential yawn.
Intelligence Report: China Unlikely to Invade Taiwan Next Year
CNN credits Trump's peace deals for Beijing's sudden restraint. The same experts who spent years calling him a Russian asset.
Iran Finally Hits Palestinians
Tehran's 'resistance' missiles achieve their first confirmed kill: in the West Bank
Iranian Missiles: Now Hitting Their Own Gas Fields
Tehran accidentally bombing the world's largest natural gas reserve while trying to look tough
America's $10B 'Oops' in Iran
Lost troops, exploding gas prices, closed strait, and now bombing schools. Classic.
Trump 'Totally Demolished' Iran, Oil Prices Disagree
Claims Strait of Hormuz is 'closed' while tankers sail through like it's a Sunday cruise
UAE's Brave 5-Minute Stand Against Israel
Dubai closes airspace for 12 whole minutes then reopens like nothing happened