Roast Station
Politics Archive
92 roasts filed under Politics. Filtered archive, newest first.
Ego Meter Spikes as White House Rejoices on Jobs Data
Stronger-than-expected numbers get spun into midterm gold while the federal reserve quietly kills the party
Collins Ego Meter Spikes at 10,000 Straight Votes
The Maine Republican's unbroken streak becomes a re-election flex that grows more detached with every paragraph.
Burnham's Leadership Audited: Makerfield By-Election or Bust
Greater Manchester mayor files paperwork for a contest that demands he first win a seat most candidates treat like a booby prize.
Absurdity Audit: War 'Concluded' While Missiles Launch
Secretary assures lawmakers the cease-fire holds as Iran turns the region into target practice.
Venezuela Opens Electricity to Private Investment After Total Collapse
Fifteen years of state control produced blackouts, so now they're offering concessions like it's a generous gift instead of surrender.
Ego Meter Spikes as Grants Face Loyalty Test
Administration proposal lets officials block grants that skip cheering for Trump’s agenda
Trump's Iran Standoff Audit Flags Total Backing Failure
Polls and allies apply pressure for a deal while Iran holds firm demanding concessions in classic geopolitical theater.
Hezbollah's 'Reciprocal' Halt Is Just Stalling for Dear Life
Lebanon's announcement meets Netanyahu's warning and instantly smells like more recycled ceasefire theater.
Absurdity Audit: 10k Attorneys Stage Striking Departure From Agencies
Federal legal talent bolts in record numbers, leaving administration offices hollow while advocacy groups feast on the remains.
Trump Hands Coal Ash Monitoring to States
Because nothing fixes toxic leaks like letting the locals negotiate with the polluters.
Trump's $10B IRS Suit Crawls Back From the Grave
Voluntarily dismissed last week, now a judge yanks it open while the Justice Department tried to establish an ally slush fund in the background.
Judge Slaps Trump's $1.8B Fund With a Temporary Transfer Freeze
Administration claims it's all above board while the court holds the cash hostage until June arguments.
Judge Forces Kennedy Center to Ditch Trump Name in 14 Days
Board's plan to brand the building hits a legal wall while the renovation gets frozen
DOJ Now Scrutinizing Who Funded Carroll Lawsuits
Because when governmental authority gets annoyed, examining private citizens who antagonized power becomes the new normal.
Russia's Kyiv Barrage Gets Audited for Maximum Noise
Major attacks followed by warnings look convincing until you check the stalled battlefield ledger.
Texas Redistricting Forces Dems Into Ego Deathmatch
Republican-led map turns two Democratic incumbents into rivals for one congressional seat.
Absurdity Audit: Trump's Physical Clears the Lowest Bar
The president undergoes a routine exam at Walter Reed and somehow gets deemed in peak form despite turning 80.
Absurdity Audit: Trump's Iran Agreement Gets the Strait, Skips the Rest
President calls it groundbreaking while admitting the deal isn't even negotiated, with enrichment and missiles left untouched.