Roast Station
Every Roast, Properly Filed.
655 roasts in the newsroom so far. This page is the real browse surface: paginated, filterable, and built to keep the archive readable instead of pretending to be a second homepage.
Chipmakers Power Stocks While Hostilities Get Shrugged Off
Wall Street calls a chip rebound 'resurgence' and treats US-Iran crap as background noise so markets can party
Microsoft Audit: AI Spots More Issues, Floods Customers
Patch Tuesday now ships higher volume of security updates because AI can identify potential problems sooner—surely that's progress.
Trump Demanded Loyalty While Europe Grabbed the Wheel
The president got the insults in but the alliance quietly accepted more european responsibility anyway
Audit Confirms Media's Video Pivot Is Round Two of Dumb
Publishers finally chase consumer attention after the facebook-driven interlude while TV loses its grasp.
Ollama Ego Meter Spikes as $65M Floods In
Benchmark-backed tool for developers nearly convinces itself it's still the scrappy open-source hero.
Maine Dems Ego Scramble Hits Convention Mode
Exit triggers a fresh batch of candidates convinced they're the one to save the seat before the deadline
Brown Professor: We Cannot Choose to Become Idiots
AI cheating scandal hits Brown, and the faculty's spin is already failing harder than the students.
ICC Prosecutor’s ‘Engaged’ Conduct Gets Confidential Review
Internal file drops the hammer on harassment but the international court still treats removal like an optional policy tweak.
TikTok FYP Audit: Agency Is a Polite Fiction
Users must intentionally and constantly curate their fyps or the algorithm just laughs and serves more slop
Xbox Reset: Obsidian Gets Reassigned to Fallout
Microsoft's latest 'investments' shuffle means one more studio abandons its own game for safe franchise work.
Air Canada Audits CEO Language After Crash Condolence Flop
New French-speaking boss installed following backlash that exposed how tone-deaf English-only grief plays in Quebec.
Hormuz Audit: Shipowners Still Willing to Roll Dice
Ceasefire crumbles yet transiting continues, because nothing says calculated risk like ignoring a president who just pulled the plug.
Blue Origin's $130B Valuation Gets the Audit It Earned
Bezos' company courts external investors for a fund-raising round that treats launch delays like minor line items.
Amber Alerts: UK Admits Southern England Is Now A Slow Cooker
Longest-lasting heatwave since 1976 rolls in with 36C temperatures and health warnings that still sound like polite suggestions.
Absurdity Audit: 100+ Carats of Diamonds Meet $2M Birkin
Billionaire heiress drops jaw-dropping glittered haul that redefines what counts as wearable wealth.
Big Brother Cast: Rocket Science Meets Jumbotron Engineering
CBS loads Season 28 with a pickleball coach, drag alum, and other specialists whose day jobs shout 'we ran out of ideas for the competition.'
ABC to FCC: Quit Poking Around Our Editorial Independence
The network blasts the commission's investigation into The View's candidate airtime as a direct threat to newsrooms everywhere.
Netflix's Short-Form Audit Flags Publisher Partnerships
The platform now brings 2-20 minute clips from Variety and friends, because apparently long-form alone isn't awkward enough.