Roast Station
Tech Archive
192 roasts filed under Tech. Filtered archive, newest first.
The Age of AI Has Arrived and Nobody Knows How to Code
400 commits, one working button, and a LinkedIn post calling it a 'passion project.'
Ex-Anthropic Grifters Launch $1B Ghost Startup
No product, no revenue, just another nine-figure valuation for vibes and recycled Anthropic letterhead.
Nothing CEO Says Apps Will Disappear
His company makes phones specifically designed to run apps
80-Year-Old VC Predicts AI Bloodbath
Veteran investor says bubble will pop but the 'strongest' will emerge more powerful. History's favorite bedtime story.
NVIDIA Unveils 'Agentic AI' That Still Can't Fix Your WiFi
Jensen Huang closes GTC with Disney robots and persistent desk AI while the world quietly wonders who asked
Meta's AI Wants to Jack Your Mouse
Manus desktop app lets agents literally control your computer because fuck your privacy
Nvidia drops $17B on Groq tech then copies it
Jensen calls it 'strategic licensing' while quietly admitting his own chips can't keep up
Car Magazine Crowns Chip Bro 'Person of the Year'
MotorTrend just gave Jensen Huang their 2026 award for... reasons?
JENSEN WEARS THE SAME JACKET FOR 12 YEARS
Announces Vera Rubin like it's a personality while CUDA celebrates its 20th birthday at a $4T funeral for your GPU
4 AIs Say BTC $250K, Claude Says 'Lol No'
Even AI is split — four are hopped up on hopium while one lonely model is just trying to pay rent
BLOCKCHAIN JUST 'AI'-WASHED A $400M DEAL
Company whose entire personality is shoving AI into its ticker signs letter of intent for 20 MW of pure hopium
SEC CLEARS CRYPTO: 'It's All Just Magic Internet Beans'
Regulators finally admit 90% of tokens were never securities, just extremely expensive jokes