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Tech Archive
192 roasts filed under Tech. Filtered archive, newest first.
Nothing Cites RAMageddon to Delay Next CMF Phone
Co-founder Evangelidis blames prices for skipping this year, proving budget phones can pivot faster than excuses evolve.
Hue Audits Your Dumb Lights With Wired Wall Modules
New ecosystem addition forces non-smart switches into the fold while claiming it's progress
Valve's Steam Controller Reservations Now Come With 2027 Estimates
The good news is you might get your controller before the next console generation; the bad news is that's not actually good news.
Google's Android Verification Timeline: An Absurdity Audit
A new system service rolls out this month, with bigger changes starting in September, because nothing says trust like official confirmation of supported app stores.
YC Demo Day: Ego Meter Hits Record Delusion
TechCrunch rounds up the standout startups whose investors say commanded $175M+ valuations in the hottest batch yet.
Apple's Brazil App Store Lockdown Finally Cracks
Absurdity audit exposes how distribution control and competition only loosen when regulators force the issue.
Dangerous AI Models Audit: Hacking Capabilities Inevitable
Formal review finds advanced models will become the norm regardless of any safety pushback
Stanford Grads Pocket $11M for Hormone-Tracking Wearable You'll Pay to Use
Noninvasive my ass — meet the latest gadget that costs $369 upfront plus a fat subscription just to maybe tell you what your body already knows.
Porsche Cranks Ego Meter to Fake Shift
MY27 Taycan throws in native NACS, bigger battery standard, and simulated e-shifts like that's peak engineering.
SpaceX Trading Debut Sends Ego Meter Into Orbit
Newly listed rocket maker vaults past Amazon and others in a masterclass of self-delusion.
60% of Consumers Say AI Brand Messaging Is a Turnoff
WordPress VIP survey shows companies treating AI-generated content as an important channel while most people just want it to stop.
Ars Technica's Reader Survey Wants Your Voice Heard
The tech site polls readers on front page changes while already knowing exactly what the analytics say.
Bastrop Hopes SpaceX IPO Means Fortunes, Gets Road Congestion
Residents of the 14,000-person town got a giant complex and now expect trickle-down magic from the historic offering.
Verge Gift Guide Recommends Gadgets Over Fathers' Actual Drinks
Father's Day happening soon and The Verge still thinks dads want $400 tech instead of simple pleasures
Sonos Play Speaker Audit Flags Portable Kitchen Scam
New Play model somehow becomes essential desk item while promising to work inside and outside like it's revolutionary.
AI Startups Audit: The SpaceX IPO Ride Delusion
Startups trying to hitch a public offering wave forget they lack the actual rocket fuel.
The Universal Remote's Impossible Control Fantasy
Companies keep selling one product to rule them all, yet the idea crumbles the moment you add a second TV brand.
Ego Meter Spikes as Under-Pillow Speaker 'Fixes' Sleep
Overthinkers swap uncomfortable earbuds for a flat slab that turns podcasts into proof of superior rest strategy